


This is who we are (DISCONTINUED)

by Tobio112



Category: Free!, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Steven Universe AU, crystal gems au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-04-12 12:17:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4478960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tobio112/pseuds/Tobio112
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fusion was frowned upon by many gems and it made Haru regret the day that He and Makoto fused. He wished that it was okay to just be them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fusion problems

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I am out of control someone stop me. I wasn't planning on making this cause I suck at writing but the Crystal gems au won't leave my head and I wanted to further elaborate on it. Also this has not been beta. Heres the post that started all this: http://mako-no-haru.tumblr.com/post/125605013991/more-gems-au-okay-so-this-is-like-a-backstory

It’s been weeks since Makoto and Haru first fused and it’s been driving Haru crazy. Fusing with Makoto shouldn’t be a big deal, fusion is a normal part of being a gem. But this was the first time that Haru’s ever fused with someone, let only his best friend. It felt so…intimate. Haru shudders at the memory, the way he and Makoto were so in sync. The warm feeling he felt once Makoto held their bodies closer together.

Haru shook his head, no he shouldn’t think of Makoto like that. Makoto was his friend, nothing more, nothing less. Haru turned his head to the window he looked down at the sea and sighed. This was frustrating, Makoto getting him all worked up. Why did he care that it felt almost natural when the two fused? It shouldn’t matter because they both agreed to never fuse again.

Fusion was still taboo around other gems, it was only seen as a way to fight, nothing more. Fusing without a purpose is wrong and they both know it, but then why did it feel so right? Haru let out a frustrated groan as he tried to kick a lone pillow laying on floor, Haru with all his anger missed and fall with a loud thud. Haru laid there for a few minutes before he grabbed the pillow and started mercilessly beating the pillow against the floor.

This was all Makoto’s fault! Usually Haru’s the calm and collect one, never showing much of an interest in anything but now, now he’s furious. He was so preoccupied with beating the pillow into an unrecognizable mess that he didn’t hear the door open or see Makoto’s sandy brown hair peek through the crack.

“Haru, I’m h- What are you doing?!” Makoto stood in the doorway, mouth hanging open not knowing what to do. He watched as Haru slowly let go of the pillow he was abusing and quickly stand up. Haru’s face was scarlet red, he was embarrassed that Makoto just saw him lose his cool.

“N-nothing, why didn’t you knock?!” Haru tried to hide the embarrassment by pretending to be mad at Makoto, he knew it wouldn’t work but it was worth a shot. Makoto raised an eyebrow, he walked fully into the room and shut the door behind him.

“I live here.” Makoto replied as he stood in front of Haru, waiting for an explanation as to why he tried to kill a pillow. Haru’s face burned even more, this was so humiliating. Haru want to go into a corner, go into fetal position and cry. It was silent for about 15 minutes until Makoto walked up to Haru and entwined their hands together.

“Are you still upset about what happened?” Makoto asked in such a low and soft voice Haru almost didn’t catch it. Haru shook his head, his bangs casting shadows over his eyes, he really didn’t want to talk about this. It was hard enough having to replay that day in his head and now having Makoto confront him about it was all the icing on the cake.

Haru snatched his hands back and walked past Makoto, he wasn’t going to break down now. Not in front of Makoto. Haru only touched the door knob as he felt Makoto gently grab his wrist. He didn’t move nor did he take back his wrist, Haru just stood there frozen in time.

“Haru, we have to talk about this…” Haru whirled around grabbing Makoto by his collar, he began pushing Makoto into a wall. He was angry and confused, and Makoto wasn’t making this situation any easier.

“There’s nothing to talk about! We both agreed that it was a mistake and we’d never do it again!” Haru shouted at the top of his lungs, Makoto was so frustrating that he almost wished that they weren’t friend. Makoto narrowed his eyes and grabbed Haru by his collar too.

“Why was it a mistake?! Why are you so upset about it!?” Haru snarled at Makoto and pushed him away, Makoto should know why he’s mad, and Makoto should know how wrong this whole thing is.

“Because fusion is wrong! It’s only used for survival not for fun or whatever we did that day! Don’t you know that it’s looked down upon with other gems?! It’s not normal!” Haru huffed as he lashed out at Makoto, how stupid could he be? He knows what happened last time two gems decided to stay fused, isn’t that all the more reason to never talk about this again?

“So I was the only one then…” Haru saw as tears started to fill Makoto’s emerald eyes, the tears overflowing and running down his round cheeks. Makoto turned his head and tried in vain to wipe away his still flowing tears. Haru gasped and quickly ran to Makoto’s side pulling him into a hug.

“M-Makoto, I’m sorry! I went too far!” He felt Makoto wrap his arms around his neck and burry his face in the crook of his neck. Haru felt Makoto’s chest heave as he loudly sobbed into his neck, Haru only held him tighter. He didn’t want this, he didn’t want Makoto cry or for Makoto to be upset at all.

It felt like hours before he felt Makoto finally relax and pull away, wiping his eyes once more. Haru grabbed Makoto’s hands and held them while he looked at the old wood floor.

“Was it really that bad?” Haru snapped his head up to look at Makoto’s down casted face.

“H-huh?”

“Fusing with me. Did you hate it that much?” He turned his head, gently pulling his hands back and encircling them around himself as he began to cry again. “Fusing with you felt so right! A-a-and here you are saying it’s wrong?! How is that supposed to make me feel?!”

Haru shook his head as tears began to fill his eyes. He made Makoto feel bad about himself, the gem already had confidant issues and now here he is making him feel worse!

“Makoto, I-I didn’t mean- I mean I wasn’t trying to say that! I liked it! I liked it more than I should!” Haru placed his hands against his gem as he moved closer towards Makoto, he needed to make Makoto feel better.

“Then why did you say all that?!” Makoto’s teary eyes glaring at him as Haru wrapped his arms around his waist. Haru pulled Makoto closer even though he struggled in his grip.

“Because I was scared…” Makoto stopped moving and looked down at the top of Haru’s head. Did Makoto hear him right? He was scared? Haru? The gem who took on a five gems all on his own and came out unscathed? Makoto wrapped his arms around his shoulders and rubbed his back.

“Scared of what?” He asked in a quite soothing voice. He waited a whole ten minutes before Haru finally said something.

Haru took a shaky breath as he finally faced Makoto, showing him how vulnerable he was. It was the first time that Haru ever let Makoto see him so—helpless.

“Do you remember what happened to Mikoshiba and Gou?” Makoto gave a Haru a confused look, what did those two have to do with anything?

“Yeah…? They went back to home world for evaluation?” Haru laughed, he lowered his head again. Makoto didn’t know this because he was a lower class gem but Haru saw, he saw what they did to them.

“Do you remember when I locked myself in my room for five days?” Makoto was getting confused, why was Haru bringing up the past?

“Yes...”

“The captains made sure to make an example out of them.” Makoto moved away from Haru’s grasp he didn’t like where Haru was going with this.

“Haru, wha-”

“They held Gou down first, they positioned the ax just above her gem-“

“Haru, stop!”

“Mikoshiba begged for them to stop, but they didn’t. They swung-”

“Haru!”

“And smashed her gem!”

Makoto covered his mouth in horror, he thought they just left because they were sick of earth not because of…Makoto began to cry, his knees gave out underneath him and he collapsed on the floor.

“They did the same to Mikoshiba too. The leaders said that fusion is an abomination, it should only be used as a weapon.” Makoto looked up at Haru and shook his head.

“Is that what you think too, Haru?” Haru knelt down in front of Makoto and pulled him into the tightest hug he could muster.

“Of course not! We—we were so perfect, I felt complete when we fused. I felt something in me that I never felt before.” Makoto looked up at the ceiling, what a mess this was.

 

 

 

 


	2. The Crack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke tries to help Makoto and Haru fix their relationship but ends up hindering it more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to keep you waiting I had an idea then scrapped it and then I had a new idea and kept it! Special thanks to kimie123 for betaing this chapter for me! You can find her tumblr here at oh-may-god.tumblr.com.
> 
> She brought to my attention in my story that I never say where Sousuke's gem is located his gem is located on his right shoulder, Makoto's gem on his back and Haru on his chest. You can see a sketch off the soumako fusion here http://mako-no-haru.tumblr.com/post/126261788831/im-sorry-i-got-lazy-and-didnt-color-all-the-way

Two weeks have passed since Haru locked himself in his room. Makoto’s been sitting outside his room in hope of him coming out but he doesn’t. Makoto sighs heavily for the umpteenth time as he looks up at the shell covered door separating him and his once best friend. Soon, he hears the front door open and sees Sousuke walk in.

 

“He still hasn’t come out yet?” He looks down at Makoto who shakes his head and lowers it back down onto his knees.

 

Sousuke scoffs, they’ve been acting weird since last month and neither of them are willing talk to him about it. He’s tried on several occasions to get Makoto to talk but all he ever says is ‘everything’s fine’ which he knows is a lie.

Sousuke walks towards Makoto and stops beside him.

 

“We’re a team, Makoto. The three of us were sent to Earth together. The least you can do is tell me why you guys are acting this way.”

 

Sousuke is slowly, slowly losing his patience with both of them. He sits down besides Makoto and tries to be as comforting as he knows how to be, which is him staring intently at Makoto face and being way too close to his personal space. Makoto, despite his sour mood, finds himself laughing at the face Sousuke makes at him. Never had the turquoise gem ever tried to comfort him, even if this only attempt of his isn’t the greatest.

 

Makoto looks back at the closed door one more time before looking at Sousuke again.

 

“I’ll tell you but… but not here.” Makoto gets up and begins to head to the front door, Sousuke gets up and follows. He glances behind him, looking at Haruka’s door one last time before leaving.

 

They walk all the way down to the shore, Makoto stops just before the water reaches his toes. He seems almost hesitant but soon he watches as Makoto moves further into the water and sits. Sousuke groans, he really did not feel like getting wet nor did he even like water, but he goes in anyways. Helping his friend feel better is more important than his slight discomfort.

 

“Haru always loved coming out here. He and I would just sit here for hours, staring at the ocean.” Makoto smiles in memory of just the two of them together, listening to the waves.

 

Sousuke rolls his eyes, he did not come all the way out here just to hear about what Haru used to like. He wants to know what the hell had been going on while he was out checking on the kindergarten.

 

“Makoto. Talk to me. Tell me what’s been going on with you two.”  Sousuke sees Makoto’s shoulders tense as he down casts his head, his bangs falling and covering his eyes. After a couple of seconds of silence he’s tempted to tell Makoto to forget about it and go back to the temple, patience was never his forte.

 

“We fused.” Makoto’s voice is quiet, the words almost getting washed up in the waves.

 

“Huh?” Sousuke asks, clear confusion laces his words.

 

“Haru and I fused!” He sobs, “And he got mad because it’s wrong and--” Makoto stops midsentence when Sousuke gently places his hands on his shoulders.

 

“Makoto, calm down.” Makoto opens his teary eyes and nods his head as Sousuke helps him to his feet, walking him back to dry land.

 

Sousuke watches as Makoto slowly calms himself down, seeing Makoto worked up like this is an extremely rare occurrence. He’s usually all smiles, keeping Sousuke and Haruka from killing each other. Now he was mess and it was Haruka’s fault. Sousuke can’t help but blame him a little.

 

“Are you alright now?” Sousuke slightly leans down so he can look at Makoto’s face. Makoto nods his head once again, facing Sousuke and giving him a warm smile.

 

“A little. Thank you, Sousuke.” Sousuke feels himself blush, Makoto’s smiles are as warm and soft as always. He scratches the back of his head and looks to the side, waiting for Makoto to tell him what had happened.

 

“We fused... but by accident. We were playing… and then our gems glowed a-and we fused.” Sousuke notices how Makoto’s eyes light up, how he happy he is remembering something that caused him and Haruka to stop talking.

 

“So that’s why water boy locked himself in his room?” It isn’t making sense to him. Why are these two so upset? Sousuke thought fusion was the coolest thing out there and hated how he was the only gem who couldn’t do it.

 

“Haru, he... He saw something that made him fear the thought of fusion.”

 

Sousuke frowns, Makoto turns his head to look at him. “He saw two gems get shattered because they chose to fuse.” Sousuke’s eyes widen.

 

“Why?” Sousuke questions, understanding even less.

 

Makoto shrugs. “Homeworld doesn’t like fusion, they think it’s an abomination. That fusion is only a weapon.” Makoto clenches his fists, he hates the idea of such an intimate and beautiful thing to be used in such a horrible way. Homeworld was wrong, fusion is about trust and friendship, not war and devastation.

 

Sousuke looks at the ground, he doesn’t understand this at all.

 

“Well if it makes you feel better, I can’t fuse at all.” Sousuke tries, and Makoto looks at him and raises his eyebrows.

 

“Really?” Makoto stares up at Sousuke.

 

Sousuke smiles sadly. “Yeah, no matter what I do I can’t fuse with anyone. Fusion is something I’ve always wanted to do but can’t.’’ Makoto looks back at the sea. How sad it is that Sousuke never connected with someone like he did with Haru. Everyone should be able to feel what he felt that day. Makoto stands up straight and begins walking back to the temple.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

Makoto gives no response. Sousuke watches as Makoto’s back slowly shrinks away and soon he is gone into the temple.

 

…………………………………..

 

Another week had passed and nothing changed, Haruka was still locked in his room and Makoto took his spot by his door again. Sousuke is beyond frustrated, all of this is over something as simple as fusion. He sighs knowing that’s a lie, if fusion was simple, he would be able to do it. Then, maybe he could understand what the big deal about all of this is.

But he can’t ask Makoto, no matter how curious he is. This is clearly a big deal to both of them, for Haru to lock himself away and for Makoto to be this upset.

 

Sousuke sighs, he tries to ignore them, but they are a team. They came to earth with the same objective, and if that objective isn’t met, then they all would suffer.

 

He decides that he needs to understand, that enough is enough, that it’s for the good of the mission. He slowly walks up to Makoto and crouches so he can be at eye level with him.

 

“Makoto, come outside with me, I need to ask you something.” Makoto raises his head, and slowly gets to his feet, following Sousuke outside. They walk for about 5 minutes until they reach a clearing surrounded by broken rocks and trees. Sousuke stands at the opposite end of the clearing.

 

“What did you want to talk about?” Makoto stands about four feet away from Sousuke. Sousuke needs to word this right and he needs to consider Makoto’s feelings he doesn’t want to further upset the chrysotile.

 

“I know this is probably the last thing you want to do, but I feel like I’d understand your situation more if I knew how it felt.” Makoto cocked an eyebrow and crossed his arms, waiting for Sousuke to elaborate.

 

“I want to try to fuse with you.” Makoto blinks and feels as if his eyes are going to pop out of his head with how wide they are.

 

Makoto uncrosses his arms and rubs the back of his neck, he looks up towards the sky and sighs.

 

“Sousuke… I only ever fused with Haru… I don’t know if I really want to fuse with anyone else but him.” Sousuke tries to hide the disappointment on his features but he can see that Makoto notices anyways.

 

“I-it’s not you! It’s just that…I don’t know, I can’t explain it…” Makoto wraps his arms around himself and looks to his right. Sousuke sighed, it was worth a shot.

 

“No, I understand. I just wanted to know what it felt like, besides it probably wouldn’t have worked anyways.” Makoto looks at Sousuke and sighs. Sousuke is his friend… kind of, it should be okay for them to at least try. Makoto looked back at the temple. Besides Haru is still in his room, he wouldn’t be able to know anyways, right?

Makoto bows slightly and then moves his arms above his head. Sousuke gasps.

 

“Are you—is it really okay?” Makoto nods and begins to slowly move closer to him, slightly twirling on one foot and stops in front of Sousuke placing his hand in Sousuke’s. Sousuke excited, with a large grin on his face, lightly squeezes Makoto’s hand and spins him until he dips Makoto and begins to laugh. Makoto can’t keep a straight face either as he soon joins Sousuke, both laughing so hard that Sousuke loses his grip and drops Makoto, sending him falling on his butt.

 

Sousuke laughs even harder as he sees Makoto’s utter shocked face. Makoto grins and reaches out grabbing Sousuke by his ankles. Sousuke helplessly flailing his arms as he is sent crashing down beside Makoto. Makoto begins to laugh again, the sound echoing throughout the clearing. Sousuke laughs too, even if this didn’t work as expected it’s still most fun he’s had in a while.

………………………

 

Haruka sat silently in his water filled room. He hates himself for doing this to Makoto, he hates Homeworld, and he hates that he loves Makoto so much. If he had normal feelings for his friend then he wouldn’t be ignoring him like this. Haruka sighs, he should suck it up, act like a gem, and go apologize to Makoto. And this time tell him how he really felt, how he wanted to be a fusion with him forever.

 

Haru blushes and with a sudden rush of motivation opens his door. He looks down to find Makoto.... not there? Usually, when he locked himself away, he would come out to find Makoto sitting there, smiling up at him and telling him how much he missed him. Haru hears laughter from outside and pinpoints the voices as Makoto’s and…Sousuke’s? Haru didn’t even know the turquoise knew how to laugh, all he did was frown and glare at him all the time.

 

Haruka walked outside and followed the sound of the laughter. He reached a clearing and saw the two. Makoto and Sousuke were spinning each other around, laughing and slowly moving their feet in sync.

 

He saw as a faint glow began to come from their gems. Haruka’s mouth soon parted, he wants to yell, scream at them to stop but no words came out and his body makes no attempt to move.

 

Sousuke gasps and stops spinning as he turns his head to look at his glowing gem. Makoto stops as well and looks back to see his gem glowing too.

 

“W-what’s going on? Why’s my gem glowing?” He turns to Makoto, who laughs and lunges at him. Makoto wraps his arms around Sousuke’s, picking him up and spinning him around.

 

“We’re fusing!” Makoto laughs as he continues to spin both of them, Sousuke’s happy cheer echoes around them. Soon, a bright light engulfs the two and their bodies mold into one. Haruka watches with hate filled eyes as the fusion stood before him. He is tall, about ten feet tall and he looks perfect.  Just like their fusion, just like Maromi.  There are no extra limbs and only one pair of eyes, the fusion opens his eyes. His eyes a clear turquoise, his hair a dark shade of brown, and his sun kissed skin looked almost golden the way the light hit it.

 

The fusion began to look down at his hands he opened and closed them testing out his movements.

 

“Makoto, I…we-“

 

“Sousuke we-“

 

“I’m a fusion!” The fusion shouts, jumping around and begins spinning around clearly enjoying its new body.  He extends his arms and continues to spin, loving the feeling of being alive. The fusion laughs and hugs itself. Haruka has enough, he steps out of the trees that were hiding him and walks towards the fusion.

 

“Makoto!” Haruka yells with such anger that the ocean twenty feet away from them begins to come crashing down at the shore, as if trying to crawl to Haruka’s aid.

 

The fusion immediately stopped moving and slowly turned towards Haruka.

 

“Haru-chan…” Makoto speaks this time instead of the fusion itself. The fusion sees how angry and menacing Haruka looks and begins to back up. He is scared, he had only been alive for mere minutes and now he feels himself becoming undone, with a struggled groan the fusion begins to lose its form.

 

The fusion splits apart, flinging both gems into opposite directions. Sousuke and Makoto fall flat on their faces. Makoto is the first to recover, quickly standing up and running to Haruka’s side.

 

“Ha-Haru! You came out! I missed yo-” Haruka roughly grabs Makoto by his collar, pulling him down and causing his head to jerk upright. Haruka brings his face close to Makoto and smashes their lips together. Makoto lets out a muffled gasp but slowly melts into the kiss and kisses Haruka back with just as much urgency.

 

Sousuke lifts his head from the ground and sees the two. His eyes widen and he grinds his teeth together, he isn’t upset or at least he shouldn’t be. He knows that Haruka was Makoto’s number one priority, so then why does it hurt so much? Sousuke lowers his head and grabs a fistful of dirt, trying to stop his emotions from spilling out.

 

Haruka looks over at Sousuke and sees how upset he is. He feels pride fill his chest and he smirks against Makoto’s lips, slowly pulling away. Makoto still wanting more, leaned in again, almost falling into Haruka’s arms as he tries to balance himself. He pants softly as he gazes up at Haruka with nothing but love and infatuation coming from his glazed over eyes. Haruka looks down at Makoto with the same emotions glistening in his own.

 

Sousuke soon stands up, and standing there with his head slightly lowered makes him want to run away, forget all about the mission and just leave.

 

After Haruka helps Makoto regain his balance, Makoto looks over at Sousuke and guilt begins to dawn on him. He had just fused with Sousuke and then he kissed Haru right in front of him! He‘s the only one to ever connect with Sousuke in that way, Sousuke trusted him and he threw it all away.

 

“Sousuke-” Haruka placed a hand on Makoto’s shoulder, cutting him short, and began to moving towards him. Sousuke moves back and begins summoning electricity to his hands after he senses the bloodlust radiating off of the other gem. Haruka is a well-known gem throughout all of the galaxy, he is known mostly for his cold mannerisms and ruthlessness. Sousuke is no different, he is a well-known gem warrior too but his brute strength was nothing compared to Haruka’s raw talent.

 

“Don’t you know it’s rude to fuse without the others consent?”  Haruka keeps moving until he has Sousuke backed up against a big tree.

 

Sousuke narrows his eyes, raising his fists and getting into a fighting stance.

 

“Makoto agreed to fuse with me!” Sousuke shouts, preparing to lounge at the blue-eyed at any moment.

 

Haruka laughs darkly and Makoto tenses. He only ever saw Haruka get like this once, and it did not end pretty for the person on the receiving end of Haruka’s rage.

 

“H-Haru-chan...” Makoto takes two timid steps towards him but is stopped when he feels ice cold water grab his ankles. Makoto looks up and anxiously darts his eyes from Haruka to Sousuke.

 

“Go back to the temple, Makoto.” Haru says with his usual monotone voice but his eyes hold much darker intent.

 

Makoto swallows his fear and with a grunt, he breaks free from the restraints. He runs up to Haru and swats him across the head. Haruka yelps and rubs the back of his head.

 

“Haru, let it go.” Makoto looks sternly at Haru, who, after a few seconds of holding his gaze, casts his eyes down and away and sighs in defeat. Sousuke isn’t worth his time anyways.

 

Sousuke clenches his jaw. He does not like feeling weak and he does not like being made a fool out of. He quickly darts towards Haruka, intending to electrocute him into next year. Haruka senses him move and quickly faces him, grabbing his wrist before he can even land a blow on him. Haruka slams the other gem hard onto the ground.

Sousuke’s shoulder is the first thing to make contact with ground

 

A sickening crack is heard and Sousuke makes a weak gasping sound as he is thrown across the clearing. He rolls until he hits a tree, and Sousuke doesn’t move. He lays there as his form soon starts to glitch, like an old computer bug.

 

Makoto gasps and runs to Sousuke’s side. He lifts him up, checking to see no damage to his physical form but then he remembers the cracking sound. Makoto lifts up Sousuke’s shirt to see his turquoise gem cracked. Makoto sharply turns his head towards Haru, whose eyes widen realizing what he did.

 

“Haruka! Y-you...You cracked Sousuke’s gem!” Tears were streaming down Makoto’s face as he holds Sousuke’s unconscious body.

 

“I-I di-didn’t mean to….He—he attacked me first, I didn’t know what else to do!” Makoto turns his attention back to Sousuke, this is all his fault. He should have never allowed this to happen, because of him Sousuke’s gem is cracked. Makoto felt Haruka wrap his arms around his shoulders, pulling him into a hug.

 

“Makoto… I’m sorry. I should have never done that, I don’t know why seeing you two fuse made me so mad.” Makoto sighs and wipes his eyes, they need to bring Sousuke back to the temple and figure out how to contain the crack. Makoto shrugs Haruka off of him and carefully gathers Sousuke into his arms.

 

“We need to find a way to help Sousuke.” With that, Makoto starts heading towards the temple, leaving Haruka behind.

…………………………………

 

Four days have passed and Sousuke still hasn’t woken up nor has the crack stopped spreading. Within a few more days, Sousuke’s gem would shatter and Makoto wasn’t going to let that happen. Haruka went missing during those four days, he never came back to temple after Makoto left him. Makoto was worried sick, he didn’t know what to do. Haru was their unofficial leader. He always knew what to do, Haru always made things better, but now he’s gone.

 

Makoto had brought Sousuke into his room, where the walls were made of intertwined vines with orange, white, and green roses poking out, and the floor a soft combination of grass and moss. Sousuke is kept under the shadow of a lone tree in the center of the chamber, there in hopes that the moss of the tree will slow down the quickly growing crack just a little. Makoto isn’t a magic healer, but he does control plants and most plants have some healing properties.

 

Makoto pulls his knees to chest as he watches Sousuke’s motionless body struggle to keep its form. Makoto hates himself, Sousuke is right here dying in front of him but all he can find himself thinking about is Haruka’s wellbeing. Makoto wishes he could trade places with Sousuke. Then, maybe, he could disappear once and for all, and stop causing so much trouble for everyone.

 

Makoto hears footsteps and banging on his door.

 

“Makoto, open up! I found someone who can help Sousuke!” Makoto feels tears spring to his eyes as he hears Haru’s voice. He quickly gets to his feet and flings open his door, he sees Haru, out of breath, and a red haired gem standing behind him.

 

“Who is this?” Makoto asks as he moves aside to let both of them inside.

 

“This is Rin, he has healing powers. He can save Sousuke.” Haruka turns towards Makoto and gazes deeply into his eyes.

 _I’m sorry_ , Makoto’s heart is throwing itself violently against his ribcage as he reads Haruka’s ocean blue eyes.

 

“Haru…” Makoto wants to say it’s alright, but he knows it isn’t. He hates how quickly he can forgive Haruka after what he did.

 

“Ahem!” Both Makoto and Haruka turn towards Rin who is kneeling by Sousuke, already removing his shirt to inspect the damage done to the gem. Rin lightly caresses the crack and moves his touch all the way to Sousuke’s face, moving stray hairs out of way.

 

“I need privacy. I never allow others to watch.” Makoto and Haru exchange looks and nodded in unison. They both leave, leaving Rin to do whatever he needs to do to make Sousuke better.

……………….

 

Now that they are alone, the atmosphere gets heavier. Haruka looks at Makoto, waiting for the other to meet his gaze but Makoto keeps his eyes firmly locked onto his door.

 

“Makoto, please… Look at me.” Makoto shuts his eyes for a moment before slowly opening them again, and finally looking at Haruka.

 

“Haru what you did… it was scary! You hurt one of our friends…” Haruka flinches at Makoto’s voice, it isn’t loud but it sounds like a thunder to him. 

 

“I know, I should have never done that. I should have moved out of the way, done something other than... that. But I didn’t, and I’m sorry.” Makoto huffs and crosses his arms.

 

“Haru, I want to forgive you, in fact I... I already have, but it’s not fair! It’s not fair to Sousuke.” Makoto looks back at the door, trying his hardest to ignore Haruka’s glossed over eyes. Makoto doesn’t allow himself to forgive Haruka, not yet.

 

An hour later, Makoto’s door opens, Rin walking out first and then Sousuke not far behind. Makoto smiles brightly, tears forming in his eyes as he runs over to Sousuke.

 

“Sousuke, you’re alright!” Makoto hugs Sousuke tightly, Sousuke returns the hug but not as hard. Rin walks over to Haruka and stares at the two with him.

 

“You owe me, you know?” Haruka nods and leaves the temple, feeling even more terrible than he did four days ago.


	3. The fusion kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto and Haruka finally confront their feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to kimie123 for looking over this chapter again! I loves you.

A month later, Rin was still there. Makoto asked him about his own station he was assigned to, but he simply brushed it off.

 

“I’d much rather stay here with you guys.” He smiled and revealed a row of sharp teeth. Makoto nodded weakly and looked at his hands, he’s been off in the past month. So much has happened, Makoto still wasn’t talking to Haruka. No matter how many times Haruka has tried to approach Makoto, he would lock himself in his room.

 

Makoto wanted nothing more to do with Haruka.

 

He hated him.

 

Who was he kidding? How could he hate Haruka? Haruka was the one who saw potential in him, he saw that Makoto was more than just another worthless Chrysolite. He was something that was worth friendship, compassion and even love.

No, Makoto didn’t hate Haruka, he never could. Haruka was his everything, he would kill himself if Haruka ordered him to, even if he wishes that command is never spoken.

 

Makoto clenched his hands, he hated himself. He looked up when he heard laughter, Rin and Sousuke grew oddly closer after Rin healed his gem. Or maybe it wasn’t odd at all, Rin did save his life.

 

Makoto glared at them for a second but then shook his head. No, he shouldn’t be envious of them, he should be happy. But it still wasn’t fair to him, how could they be so happy when their group was falling apart? Or maybe it was just him and Haruka falling apart. Makoto sighed and leaned back, he really did miss the old days. When it was just him and Haruka exploring the galaxy, all they needed was each other and that was enough. But then Sousuke came and threw off their whole dynamic, soon replacing Makoto as second in command. The other diamonds said he had more potential than Makoto, who was just a low-ranked, useless Chrysolite.

 

Makoto remembered how Haruka fought tooth and nail to get Makoto back as his second command, but the diamond’s words were absolute. Ever since Haruka lost his status as diamond, he had less power. They elected a new Diamond in Haruka’s place, it was very upsetting for Makoto to watch his commander be overthrown by the other Diamonds.

 

It all happened just five days ago, Pink Diamond came to their base and demoted Haruka down to aquamarine. They were all shocked, even Sousuke seemed upset by it. Somehow the Diamonds found out about Makoto and Haruka fusing, Makoto was mortified. He was sure that Haruka would be executed on the spot and he would soon follow suit.

 

But Pink Diamond simply demoted Haruka, they couldn’t demote Makoto, he was already a low breed of gem. Makoto remembered the look on Pink Diamonds face, he looked too satisfied that Haruka was no longer a Diamond. Makoto knew that he had something to do with homeworld finding out about their fusion, but what could he do? He was just Chrysolite.

 

Makoto was dragged out of his thoughts when Haruka walked into the temple. Rin and Sousuke stopped talking immediately and looked at him, well Rin looked, Sousuke glared. Haruka looked at nobody and walked straight to his room, sealing the door behind him. Makoto felt his bottom lip quiver, he abandoned Haruka when he needed him most, and he was a terrible friend.

 

He had had enough time to think, he was tired of being apart.

 

Makoto stood up and walked to the base of the temple, using his gem to open his door. He quickly walked inside and closed it behind him. Makoto walked down the main trail which lead to Haruka’s room. Haruka and Makoto’s rooms were connected but if they ever needed space they would seal it off. Even though they have not been on good terms for the past month, they never sealed up their rooms. Makoto hopes it never happens.

 

Makoto walked until he saw Haruka sitting at the edge of the waterfall, his down casted head covering the beautiful blue eyes Makoto was preparing to face. Makoto slowly walked towards Haruka, thinking that if he approached any faster he would scare him off forever.

 

Haruka turned his head and blinked slowly at Makoto, he then instinctively scooted over to make room for him. Makoto slowly sat down besides Haruka, he put distance between them even though he wanted nothing more than to close the gap between their bodies. Haruka said nothing, he only looked down at the water. Makoto was used to Haruka not talking, he was gem of little words, but this silence was tense, neither of them were happy or relaxed.

 

“Haru…I…”  Makoto didn’t know what to say, he didn’t have to apologize but he felt the need to. He knew he did nothing wrong but it felt like so. He felt like it was his fault that Haruka was demoted and he felt like it was his fault that Sousuke’s gem was cracked. He should've prepared something to say before coming, now he felt even dumber.

 

“Don’t apologize.” Makoto jumped slightly, Haruka was quiet for so long and he was so lost in thought, he almost forgot that he was there. Haruka finally lifted his head to look at Makoto, Makoto darted his eyes around nervously, trying his hardest not to look into Haruka’s eyes. It had been so long since they had made eye contact, all the words left unsaid were pouring out of Haruka’s eyes and Makoto didn’t know how to deal with them.

 

“Nothing was your fault, it was all my fault. So if you came here to apologize you can just go.” Haruka shifted his gaze back down to the water. Makoto looked down, he did come here to apologize, but he had no idea why. Nonetheless, Makoto did not want to leave, not with so much left unsaid. Makoto slowly and carefully placed his hand on top of Haruka’s. Actions always spoke louder than words between them.

 

Haruka flinched slightly, he then looked down at his and Makoto’s overlapping hands. Haruka flicked his eyes up to meet Makoto’s, he looked at him with confusion. He thought the Chrysolite wanted nothing to do with him, he was so sure Makoto hated him just like Sousuke.

 

“Haru, I’m still upset but… I still love you…” Haruka’s eyes widened slightly but he said nothing.

 

“I love you so much Haruka, I probably love you more than I love myself... I... What I’m trying to say is, even after what you did, I could never really hate you.” Makoto paused and leaned closer to Haruka, pressing their foreheads together. Haruka held his breath, scared that if he even breathed Makoto would vanish. Hesitantly, Haruka moved his shaking hands and placed them on either sides of Makoto’s face.

 

The message was immediately received and Makoto smiled and nuzzled his cheeks against Haruka’s hands. They both let out a breathy laughs of relief, both gems were going crazy without each other. Haruka soon moved his hand slowly down Makoto’s face, running his thumb over his slightly parted lips. Moving his hand lower until it rested against Makoto’s chest, his heart was beating wildly as Haruka lightly pushed him onto his back.

 

Makoto blushed and looked to the side as Haruka’s piercing blue eyes looked over his features. Haruka then placed his weight on to Makoto, straddling him. Makoto placed his hands on either sides of Haruka’s hips, gently moving his hands down to clasp Haruka’s firm buttocks.

 

Makoto darted his eyes to the left and then back up to Haruka. Makoto’s face began to grow even redder at the hungry look the aquamarine was giving him.

 

“A-are you sure?” Makoto spoke softly, Haruka nodded and leaned closer to Makoto’s face. Haruka’s lips lightly brushed against Makoto’s but not fully pressed together. Makoto moved his head slightly to the right.

 

“Haru, don’t you remember what happened last tim-!” Makoto was cut off by Haruka roughly rolling his hips against his. Makoto’s head flew back, he let out a strangled yelp. Mortified, Makoto covered his eyes with his forearm, Haruka gently moved Makoto’s arm and nuzzled their noses together.

 

“It’s fine Makoto.” Makoto opened his eyes and gazed up at Haruka.

 

“I have nothing to lose anymore. I want to be with you forever.” Makoto smiled and closed his eyes, Haruka pressed himself closer to Makoto’s body leaving no more room between them. Soon a bright light engulfed both their bodies, the two gems began to melt into each other creating a completely new being.

 

 

He slowly ran his hands up his sides and rest upon his face. The fusion opened his eyes and let out a shaky breath.

 

“I hate when you guys do that.” It spook in voice deep but gentle voice.

 

 

……………………………….

 

“So... are you ever gonna tell me how you broke your gem?” Sousuke and Rin were sitting outside the temple, looking at the ocean as the sun began to disappear into it.

 

“I didn’t break my gem.” Sousuke grunted out as he kicked a large rock sending it flying a couple of feet away. Rin rolled his crimson eyes and smirked.

 

“Then who broke your gem?” Sousuke groaned.

 

Sure, he and Rin had become quite close in the past month but he never did tell him exactly what happened to his gem, he always beat around the bush or completely avoided the subject. Sousuke didn’t feel like talking about it at all.

 

He hated how he felt when his gem was cracked, it felt like he wasn’t himself. It was hard to keep his form with his gem cracked, his body was screaming at him to just roll over and die. Sousuke almost gave in too, but then Rin came and healed him. He had no idea what Rin did but he’s grateful to him, he owes Rin his life.

 

Sousuke was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt a push at his shoulder.

 

“Well?” Rin leaned back and looked at Sousuke with his eyebrow cocked.

 

“It was cracked by the same guy who brought you here.” Rin straightened up at hearing that and moved closer to Sousuke.

 

“Wait, Haruka cracked your gem?” Sousuke nodded and gently caressed his gem. Rin looked back over at the ocean as the sun was completely gone now.

 

“Wow, what the hell did you do to make him that mad?” Sousuke glared at Rin and stood up.

 

“I’m going inside.” Sousuke quickly walked back hoping to make it to his room before Rin came chasing after him.

 

“Sousuke, wait! Tell me!” Rin came running in, almost tackling Sousuke to the ground as he jumped him.

 

“Shut up, it’s none-” Sousuke stopped mid-sentence and looked up to a figure, Rin was about to tell him to shut up too before he looked at the same thing. They both stood there frozen, neither of them knowing what to do. There was a strange gem in the temple, he had the same stone as Makoto but he wasn’t Makoto. This gem had dark hair, as dark as Haruka’s but it wasn’t Haruka either.

 

The stranger soon realized he wasn’t alone and slowly turned around to face Sousuke and Rin. Sousuke’s jaw dropped and Rin completely let go of Sousuke’s body. The stranger blinked his heretochromated eyes and smiled warmly at them. As the gem turned fully around, Sousuke noticed he had Haruka’s gem as well. As soon as Sousuke knew what he was looking at, he felt his mouth close into a thin line.

 

This was Makoto and Haruka’s fusion.

 

Rin was the first to react by walking up to the fusion and immediately punching it across the face. Sousuke snapped out of his trance and grabbed Rin who was ready to backhand him again. The fusion fell due to the force of the punch, he held his stinging cheek and looked up at his attacker with furrowed features.

 

Rin grinded his teeth together trying to break free from Sousuke’s iron grip.

 

“What the hell is your problem!?” Rin shouted as Sousuke started to move him away from the fusion, to give him space.

 

The fusion stood up and wiped the blood that started to leak from his nose.

 

“You idiots! Haruka got demoted because of this shit, you’re both lucky you didn’t get executed!” Rin kicked his legs in a vain effort to get away from Sousuke’s grasp. The fusion said nothing but simply stared at Rin, who was breathing heavily.

 

The fusion stepped closer, Sousuke backed up with Rin in tow.

 

“Stay back, he’ll attack you again.” Sousuke was still backing up until his back hit the door. The fusion stopped until he was about two feet in front of them.

 

“Gou…” Rin’s voice choked at the mention of his late sister. “She…She died because of fusion, you’re both gonna end up just like her!” Tears started pouring out of Rin’s eyes as he finished his sentence, Sousuke sighed and held Rin tighter. His tear-stained face was now hidden by his hands.

 

“Maybe I will end up like her.” Rin and Sousuke looked up, startled that the fusion actually spoke.

 

“If I do end up like her, then that’s fine. She died for what she believed, I wouldn’t mind dying like that either.” Rin growled.

 

“How dare you! You don’t know anything about her!” The fusion simply blinked at Rin’s outburst, and soon turned around and headed to his door.

 

“I might have not known her but I know the feeling she felt when she was with him.” Rin glared harder at him and finally pushed Sousuke off of him.

 

“You’re just an abomination! Nothing about you is good, fusion is wrong and you know it!” Rin shouted at the retreating back.

 

The fusion stopped before his door and sighed. He felt a single tear slide down from his green eye.

 

“This is just what we are and who I am...." The fusion said as he opened his door and shut it behind him.

 

……………………..

 

“Ugh, can you believe them?! Fusing like that, after all that happened!” Rin was pacing circles around Sousuke who sat on the sand and listened to Rin complain for hours.

 

Sousuke was worried, he hadn’t seen Makoto, Haruka or their fusion in several hours. He wondered if they unfused after Rin’s hissy fit or if their fusion was still standing.

 

“Sousuke!” Sousuke snapped his head up to see a very angry redhead looking down at him.

 

“What?” He said dumbly as Rin balled up his fists and moved closer to the turquoise.

 

“I said, you think fusion is wrong too, right? That it’s an abomination!” Sousuke looked down and then grabbed Rin’s hand forcing him to sit beside him.

 

“Remember how Haruka cracked my gem?” Rin gave him a confused look but nodded.

 

“He cracked my gem because I fused with Makoto.” Rin snatched his hand back from Sousuke.

 

“So-so, you fused… With Makoto?!” Rin didn’t know why he was angry, was he angry because it’s fusion? Was he angry because Sousuke waited until now to tell him? Or was he angry because Rin wasn’t the first to fuse with Sousuke? No no no... he doesnt want to have anything related to fusion, that would be stupid.

 

“When Makoto and I fused, it felt wonderful. It felt like it was the most natural thing in the world.” Sousuke smiled softly recalling that fateful day.

 

“But fusion is….it’s-!” Rin was cut off by Sousuke seizing his shoulders and gently shaking him.

 

“Fusion is not wrong, it’s as natural as falling in love.” Rin looked down, Sousuke gently grabbed Rin’s chin between his thumb and index finger.

 

“Rin, you need to give him a chance. Don’t you want Haruka and Makoto to be happy?” Rin jerked out of Sousuke’s hand.

 

“But they’ll die! I saw it! I saw them both die! I don’t want to see it again!” Sousuke sighed and pulled Rin closer to his chest, he rubbed circles on his back.

 

“We’re on earth Rin, we’re far away from homeworld.”

 

…………………

 

An hour of convincing later, Sousuke got Rin to go into the temple and at least try to talk to the fusion. When they got inside the fusion was still nowhere to be seen, neither were Makoto and Haruka.

 

Sousuke walked to the sealed door that he assumed was the fusions', he didn’t know whether to knock or just wait. He knocked gently, expecting nothing in return but soon the door opened and he was greeted by the fusion. Sousuke stepped back so he could look at his face.

 

All and all, the fusion was not bad to look at. He had sun kissed skin, beautiful eyes... In fact, Sousuke thought the fusion was quit handsome, but he’d never say that out loud.

 

“Look, uhh….” Sousuke paused realizing he didn’t know the fusions name, he didn’t know whether or not to call him Makoto or Haruka.

 

“Maromi.”

 

“Huh?” Sousuke cocked an eyebrow to show his confusion.

 

“My name is Maromi.” He said calmly showing no emotion, Sousuke nodded and stepped aside so the fusion could get through. Maromi walked passed Sousuke and began to head towards the door.

 

“Hey, wait!” Sousuke quickly moved towards Maromi and grabbed his forearm. “Rin wanted to apologize.” Sousuke pointed at a very angry looking Rin who didn’t seem apologetic at all. Maromi looked at Rin for a few seconds and shrugged Sousuke off.

 

“I don’t want an apology from someone who doesn’t mean it.” With that Maromi left the temple, heading towards the beach.

 

…………………………

 

Maromi wasn’t mad per se but it was annoying to have someone slap you across the face for just existing. Maromi knew that fusion was taboo, that’s why Makoto and Haruka didn’t try it again but was it so wrong to actually want to exist? He sighed and looked out at the ocean, he never really saw it before now and he knew that he loved it.

 

When he heard footsteps approaching him, Maromi let out a loud groan. He didn’t really know Sousuke, but he was already starting to dislike him.

 

“I told you I don’t want to-” Maromi stopped when he saw Rin standing there instead of Sousuke. Rin glared at the ground and hesitantly met Maromi’s eyes.

 

“I’m sorry.”


	4. discontinued

Change of plans I will be redoing all of the chapters on a separate story completely to avoid any confusion.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Mirror](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4853927) by [yikes_my_face](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikes_my_face/pseuds/yikes_my_face)
  * [My Makoto](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5679052) by [yikes_my_face](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikes_my_face/pseuds/yikes_my_face)




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